The "S" Period.

It's not everyday I am asked by other people to help them out when it comes to girls. I mean I hardly have known a girl in my entire life... And probably after reading this it would be clear to you why. One fine day a friend of mine Garv comes up to me and says that he is in love with a girl. I went like shit! another decent guy gone...Coz when a guy falls in love all he wants to talk about is his girl... Her likes and dislikes... then clothes she was wearing... then what was she saying... and how much he likes her... and it may be interesting for the lover boy but it really bugs the people around him...But the curiosity factor took over me and i asked about the girl...How i wish i hadn't...

He tells me the name... My first instinct was "oh no!! Not her" In future I better keep a check on my reflexes. He exclaims "you know her!" well it wasn’t like I wanted to but if someone is in your class you kinda get to know the person. So I say "yeah we are in school together."

And thus started the "S" period. Well i name this span of time the "S" period cause the name of the girl starts from S and whenever we were with Garv all he talked about was his love and he talked so much that we talked about her even when he was not with us.

So back to the scene. Garv ask me "so are you friends with her."
Me (in my sarcastic tone):"Yeah Right! Me a friend with her!!"
G: why what is the case like?
Me: Nothing special it’s just I do not really have a good relation with her.
G: Raghav!!

Why people just can't take a hint? I didn’t want him to know the details, now he likes her
I would want it even less. I love my ass and would like it to be there at its right place.

Me: Nothing serious I just insulted few times in school.
G: You insulted her… Raghav Why do you always have to make fun of people especially girls no wonder you are single...and I can imagine your insults... you must have made fun of her in public and would have picked on her on every small issues like her taste in music...so how bad was it...tell me the truth!!

Hey it’s not like that always… I can be good to girls... and I don’t pick on people on small issues... It’s just music is NOT a small issue.... why do people have to take me for granted when it comes to insult... I would have said these things to him on his face but it turns out what he said was true... in fact I did worse to her that what he said so I sheepishly say

"Well its just I know her cause I helped her with her anchoring for the farewell in Modi... and I quite didn’t like her behavior so you know i just made a little fun of her.
G: How big is this "little"?

Me and my mouth!!! I knew now that I would have to go to school every now and then, passing his messages or for seeking some information for his love...

Me: Seriously I just said hey to f**k off and made her realize her that no one remembers her from her previous school and one in this world cares about her...
G: When will you learn to keep your mouth shut! And can you introduce me to her?

Yeah right! As if I knew he would fall for that dumb b***h... And how can he think he'll stand a chance if "I" introduce him to her after what I did...

Me: I really don't think that would be a nice idea... well I have a friend who might be able to...
When? When? When will I learn to keep my mouth shut?
G: yeah that would be great...

Somebody gotta teach guy that there is a word "NO" which is to be used for such offers...
Me: Yeah I could do that... lets talk about this on a dinner...

Well then we went to a hotel to discuss various strategies on how to approach her... and I told him everything I knew about her... And got death bored hearing his plans and ideas on how to “woo” her and sorry I forget to mention also to get rid of her present boyfriend... Yes my friend was in love with a girl who was already in a relationship... The only good that came out of it was I got a free dinner...
So my friends during this course of time this guy was the reason I had to awake all the time (which I hated) and had to go to school at 7 in the morning!!! I missed my exams or gave them an hour late to avoid waking up at that unearthly hour but coz of him I had to... And as I start talking to her I am reminded the very reasons why I hate her and it took me all I had in me to stop myself from making fun of her... See I can control my emotions for a friend... so I just told her that she was a dumb person with no taste in anything other that, I dint say anything... For friends I can do anything... :)

Finally after a week and a half of discussing various methods the lover settles down on the strategy of meeting her alone and wrote a poem for her,

"Her smile is so cute,
Presence divine and magical.
Hero gazes the heavenly incarnation,
Filled with infallible admiration.

Her face so angelic,
Features so beautiful.
Over the shoulder the hero passes a gaze,
But in front of her soulful beauty all his charm was abased.

Her complexion so fair,
Black pull back hair,
Created by the master craftsman,
With a lively flair.

The boy decides to approach,
With a confident spirit.
Gave it a burl,
An asked his princess "Will you be mine girl?""

(I didn’t write this poem Garv did... I just typed it so if you want to comment on it approach him not me)...

So when our hero finally gathers courage to confront her outside the coaching institute with this "lovely" poem in his hand (which he still has) and says some beautifully Shah Rukh Khan inspired lines to her in his way we are not at all surprised by her response which if I wrote would kill me...

(I mean if I wrote down that the girl said that my guy was gay so that would totally made Garv kill me... so i am not dumb enough to mention it to anyone...)

So you guys can imagine our fate after this... well it wasn’t well before this but after this the before part now seemed so nice and peaceful... Now we were bombarded with his question on his looks and her mental workings... I mean how we were supposed to know how the mind of a W**re works and we were definitely in a position of answering Garv on his looks coz we all are straight (expect well, kala)...
Thus another week passes by and now nearly everyone at our home(U4) knows about our lover boy. Then came in a surprise that scared us for our lives...

Mihir and Ayush did something unthinkable...
They......

To be continued in the next blog. Stay tuned.

P.S. Hehehe I love creating such uncompleted joints in my stories…. By the way do stay tuned for part 2…

Pain of Separation!

NOTE: Hemant bahiya is very dear to me. this blog has been written over a wierd fantasy i had over a conversation i had while dinning. I don't mean a word of this. I would appreciate if this is taken as a humour which it is...

They say when you separate from your love you miss it the most.

Now I knew the very depth and pain these true words expressed. Oh! Cruel God why did we have to separate? Those who think I am empty shell and does not have emotion, listen to this… every little moment I was away from my true love my heart ached, bled in fact, for the memories of time we had spend together never left my mind and the horror of what was happening to my love now when I was not there to take care of it and was not in a proper hands... yes, I had to cry myself to sleep... (Sigh)

I bet you guys must be thinking when did I fall in love and when did we separate... well friends even I didn’t know I was in love but when the cruel man took it away for the gruesome period of 24 hrs, I realized the life changing truth about me that I was indeed a victim of cupid... I was in love with my pod...

Now to take you back where all of this started it was suppose to be just another day... I had just woken up from my sleep at 5 in the noon and was feeling very hungry... so I went to the new sandwich guy which had just opened in front of U4... So eating my single cheese, extra onion sandwich and listening to new ozzy osbourne songs I had downloaded previous night I go to U4...
Had I known what lay ahead... (sigh)

As I enter I find cafe owner Hemant bhaiya sitting on a chair repairing headphones notice me humming "I am just a dreamer"... And ask for what I am listening to..?
Me: Nothing special just an English song.
H: Yaar give it to me for a minute.
He always ask for it for few minutes... you know usually listens to one or two jagjit singh"s gazals I have... so innocently not knowing what was about to happen I hand my pod over to him..
H (listening on my pod): Can you put some songs of my choice on it?

Well that caught me off my guard.. Why would he want his likings on my pod? Now I get the idea what was about to happen... Dreading the worst I answer him.

Me: yes, I can but I don’t have my U.S.B. port with me right now and I really don’t have enough space left...
H: Get U.S.B. port from your home and I really don’t have that many songs I want to transfer...

I never knew living so close to U4 would cost me so dearly one day... so I go to my place get my port.. Every step is a burden for me now... I can nearly feel my pod crying out for me as my heart was crying out for it... was he handling my small, tender yet firm baby with the delicacy I did.. No he can never do that… He can’t care for my pod the way I do for it...
And I reach U4 (you see my home is very near to this place so I couldn’t think a lot traveling between them.)
When I reach there...

H: So you came, Ok then come on. Ashok, get the two cds of songs I gave to you early this morning...
Two CD!!!! I was like fuck that approx 1 G.B. i had like 157 M.B. left... So I say
Me: Bhaiya I don’t have so much space...
H: Delete few songs that you don’t listen too much...

Thunder hit me...I skipped a beat... I felt as if the ground was shaking and I was sinking in it... Delete songs from my pod... MY POD!! It took me ages to illegally download songs of so many artist many haven’t even heard the name off... delete few songs which I don’t listen to... well I don’t put in the songs I don’t listen to...Every song that is there is dear to me... and I can’t put all the songs I care for myself for the problem of pace... Seriously I wish I could eat hard drives in order to get more space on my pod... and here this guy says delete songs from it... huh...

Me: Ok… But please can you select the song you really want… So I don’t have to delete much...
H: Ok don’t worry.
He starts his process of selecting songs... every click of his makes my fist clinch but I cant do much...So he selects approx 300 M.B. songs...

Now came in the most difficult part... I look down at itunes... Raghav's Ipod stares back at me beaming... exited that the master is probably gonna put in some new wonderful songs in it... (sigh)... I nearly cried as I delete Lewis black's "Black in Broadway" from my TV shows...
Still after deleting the whole show I am short of 70 M.B. I then go to songs and with my first instinct delete linkin park... I didn’t like them ... but am still short of 30 M.B... I scroll every song from my pod three or four times... cant find any song I want to delete... of course my love has been so perfect... How can I find mistakes in it... but then I remember I have an aerosmith songs backup on kushagr's pod...so I delete them...

i could listen to my pod cries of why!! Why are you doing this to me... I have no reply... I dreaded souls of aerosmith would turn in their grave and would haunt me forever now I have disrespected so much....
After putting Hemant bhaiya's song in it... I try too look at my pod but my eyes cant meet it's screen… my eye's were heavy with guilt and my pod screen brightness was dull as if it was crying itself.. Now that it's love it has put his trust in has betrayed it...

H: Thanks... I'll give it back tomorrow...
I go to dinner with a slash in my heart... now I knew what my friends felt after getting dumped by their girlfriends.... their love wasn’t even pure yet it hurt them... imagine my pain coz I truly was in love...

Kushagr understood my pain of separation and gave me his pod for the night (now you guys on this juncture might think we always trade pods so why such a big deal now but fellas we always trade it with people who we know will take proper care for it and actually has a taste in music and at least know that nirvana is a rock band...

Looking at Kushagr's pod's screen only reminds me of my pod... how we would spends hours together looking at nothing but each other.. I watching a movie on it and it wonderful stare back at me...how it would play a pink floyd song when i would be low or a system of a down song when i would like to rock 'n roll... how my love knew me so well... I would take pride in it when some one would say "Hey man! your pod has an amazing collection..." I would just hold my pod in my hands... it felt so complete... we together had so many moments... we would sleep together side by side... my palms covering it small beauty so I don’t sleep over it and it would play melodious slow pink floyd or coldplay songs so I could sleep in peace... how much I cared for him...Could I hold it again and tell it how much I loved it.. Could I just express my care for it... but now it was in those big hands... Was he holding them too strongly... or was he careless about it... would he by mistake sit on it... oh!! My god!! His Hindi movie song like Singh is king were there on my pod with the likes of great rock bands like AC/DC and pink floyd... I had to make a play list for his anu malik songs like i had made for system of a down and coldplay... How hard it would have been for my pod to bear... I couldn’t sleep in peace that night...

Next day evening i again go to U4... my steps were fast... my heart was beating fast... all I could think was about how was my little beauty doing.. Was it still in once piece...They say time heals... well it didn’t work that way for me...
When I reach hemant bhaiya is not there... so I call him ask for my pod... he says he is on the way of the cafe and has the pod with him... (Sigh)... friends... let me say waiting for those 45 min. was the hardest part... my heart must have pumped thrice the blood than it usually does...Every motorcycle looked like Hemant Bhaiya to me...
But when the pod finally came to me my joy knew no bounds I again felt complete...Ah!! how much my hands had missed its touch... how my ears had missed the melodious sound of it's click wheel... I say sorry to my pod and know my love has forgotten me coz now it has the usual brightness on it... But then suddenly a friend comes up and has a look at my pod and says man you listen to anu malik! Well I just look sadly at my pod which was quite insulted but my ever forgiving love is just happy to be with me again... so I connect my pod to computer delete all the songs and put the aerosmith back...

I am again united with my love and I feel so complete about it...

I just hold on to it while it plays Wish you were here...

P.S. This is just written for fun... Hemant bhaiya has done a lot for me and it's really a small was to repay him.. i would gladly give him my pod if he ever ask for it again...

Age Clan Match.

DISCLAIMER: This blog may contain content which is offensive and is not be read by nerds and Mama's boys... Offences in the blog are taken lightly over here by people; still I would like to mention that no offence was meant...if you are not use to serious abusing and are not fluent with basic Hindi you are better off not reading this particular piece...
Writer is not responsible for any mental trauma and deviation which could be caused be reading this.

Time: 9:00 P.M.
Location: U4 caber-cafe.

It was supposed to be just another 5 minute visit. Usual round of checking mails and see if there any new movie worth taking on pod...
As I enter I see most of the computers booked and people with headphones on, never taking eye off the screen and hands off the mouse and keyboard and shouting at the top of their voices to send the villagers onto the battle field to make castles...

(Sigh) Just Another clan match.

I was witnessing another Age Of Empire clan match. 4 on 4...
At this moment I realize it was not going to be my planed 5 min. visit... I take a seat behind Maddy (Abhinav shubham’s game name) and watch the fairly even matched team trying to outdo each other... I was in time when the players were about to start making the army and only one had started researching for imperial age... As soon as I make my presence known to these people I am asked to sit behind Utkarsh to help him out with the game... in the process of me shifting from one seat to another three other people research for imperial...
Me: Civilization?
Utkarsh: Vikings.
Me: Heavy? (For underprivileged souls this is to inform you we call heavy scorpions a unit in game just heavy)…
Utkarsh: yes.
Me: university researches?
Utkarsh: I think I have covered them all.
Me: what you mean you think? Chemistry? Murder holes? Siege Engineering? And forth research of blacksmith?
Utkarsh: There is a research in blacksmith??
Me: do it fast. And why do you so less wood when you are supposed to make a wood spending unit…
Utkarsh: abe yaar, it’s not gathering fast. I don’t know why.
Me: go to your second town center and get villagers out and make them work on forest and make at least 8 workshops. Fuck! You haven’t researched the up gradation... Maddy send utkarsh 2000 food...
Maddy: abe yaar I can’t. I am making the army… I'll send 1000…
Me: chal ok…
So we start making our army them and attack them first and are greeted with their arrow firing castles…
Me: pala se maar… treb nikalo..
Mihr(Making and managing paladins): Abe halbedier aa gaye.
Me: abey pala piche le.. mere heavy aa rahi hai..
On the other side
Vivek(making halbedier): abey haevy.. vipin where is your siege?
Vipin: on its way
Me:Fuck! Siege maddy use your dande (elite eagle warriors) to destroy the siege...
Maddy: coming
Me: Fuck my whole unit is destroyed. (One whole unit contains approx 40 units. Yes. I know. We do beat S.I. system of counting)
Mihr: I need heavy halberdiers are raping me.
Me: They are under construction and few are on its way.
Mihr: kya yaar make them fast.
Me: abe seige fucked me hard.
Maddy: I broke his seige workshops.
Me: My heavy is ready let’s attack.Vipin: abey maddy your dande are killing my trade carts.
Maddy: fuck you, bastard! Put them up in your ass. They are not mine.
Vivek: if they aren’t yours then do they belong to your father?? You are the only one making dande..
Vipin (pausing the game): abey i am not playing. All my trade carts died and your castle was very near to base.
Vivek: yes, and acid (my game name) is playing instead of utkarsh... 5 on 4 ho raha hai...
Mihr: Don’t piss me off! And just play..
Vipin: we will still beat you.
Acid: abe first save your base..
(In between) Chamar: oye raghav should I start on the time (he can’t speak proper Hindi so no proper English for him)
Me: abe i am not playing (yes, I know ironic)..
Mihr: abey unpause kar...
(So again we continue fighting on the battle field and in real life).
Vivek: fuck you, Randi (well its not a abuse but nickname of our friend jatin or jayanti whatever he oh! sorry she… fuck, its confusing...) where is your pala?
Randi: abey I don’t have enough food.
Vipin: He is really a randi. I told you not keep him in team.

So after few ups and downs, we finally take the attacking base of our enemy… And thus win the game... before the game ended I knew what was about to come...

Vivek: abey it was unfair. Acid played instead of utkarsh.Me: I just helped him in attacking… He played most of the game
Vivek: But that’s the main thing... if his heavy wouldn’t have come my halberdiers would have fucked the paladins...
Mihr: Fuck you. Those were my pala.. Even your dad couldn’t have touched them.
Vivek: Stay in your limits.
Mihr: so you would tell me my limits? There is not enough strength in your ass to do that.
Vivek: shut your mouth. If you want to prove something come 1on1 feudal attack.
Miher: chal aaja L2P (losers to pay for you people)
So as they were setting down to another abuse promising game Ashish comes and asks:
"Football anyone?"
vivek: chal let’s go.
Mihr: Afraid to play with me?
Vivek: Fucker we will play tomorrow. But abhi lets play football.
(Sigh) Just another clan match...
When people ask me what do I do at cafe… I just smile...

Stay tuned coz soon I'll be posting the C.S. (counter strike) clan scenario...which is very different and more wilder...

Boys will always be boys...

P.S. I tried my best to translate Hindi sentences in English and still express what exactly it feels like playing the game.(though I do use many Hindi words now and then)