The Darker Side Of Grey.

Loki. In Norse myth this guy is considered to be both hero and villain. He is presumed to be a god initially who helps other gods on various points and save their asses but slowly and gradually his giant side siege control and causes trouble for them. According to many scholars Loki tries to make his mark by doing a bit of mischief here and there but then he reaches a point where he couldn't control himself which eventually caused the death of Baldr (beautiful god of sunrise and sunshine). In the end, gods are so confused regarding him that they decide it’s too dangerous for him to roam free; thus he is bounded with a snake dripping venom on his face and it’s his discomfort that causes earthquakes. It is also said that on the day of Ragnarok he will break free from his bounds and make an army of giants to fight against gods and kick their asses too.

So was Loki bad? Did he deserve the punishment? OK, he was responsible for death of a god but he had also saved many on quite a few occasions. Was he really out of control? Did gods really need to diminish the status of Loki from a god to an evil giant?

Loki was known to be a shape-shifter. His most famous shape is that of a snake. It’s an irony that its snake venom that tortures him in the end though. He was a magician (A rarity in Norse myth), a smooth talker and a very good liar. While Loki is associated with fire he is most commonly known as god of mischief. In fact scholars to this day argue on the origin of the name Loki.

So again was Loki bad? I personally think Loki was just a bored god. He just wanted to have some fun and the problem with him was he just didn't know where to draw the line. Every time he did something, he would need to do something even bigger next time to keep his thrill intact. When to stop or how to channel those emotions he didn't know thus leading to the death of Bladr. Loki wasn’t bad bad, he was just looking for some fun. He was like a little kid wanting to harass gods just to see their reactions. According to me he is one of the most misunderstood gods. I mean people bow down and pray to Zeus (a god which killed his own father and son. Cheated with his own brothers and etc etc) but when it comes to Loki people can’t even decide of he should be treated as a god or as an evil giant.

So why am i rambling about a mythical Norse god? It’s not like I am a preacher. Well the reason is while most people would like to associate themselves with Zeus or Heracles or Achilles maybe even Ajax or Odysseus or Poseidon, I like to associate myself with Loki.

Yes, i see more of myself in god of mischief. A known liar and trouble-maker. I can see or rather understand why he would make the decisions that he did. In fact I would go to the length of saying in his positions I would have made those choices too. Who wants a boring dull life? Where you wake up every day, do your daily chores, be a Mr. two legged goodie-goo and the sleep peacefully. Where is the fun in that? On the other hand if you are mischievous, you make errors you interfere in the happenings of the world; you keep yourself engrossed. You are always on the edge never bored or idle. Your mind is always sharp, meeting and conversing with people becomes all the more interesting. If you really eve try to influence a person and then see it actually happening the sense of power it gives you is over-whelming. It’s more intoxicating than any drug in this world. Trust me when i say this.

I have realized my polite social small talk has the life span of 2 minutes. For 2 minutes I can smile and ask all the questions in whose answers I am least interested in. 2 minutes and then the awkward silence of "what's next?" creeps in. Whereas when I am discussing work I can talk for hours. Hours non-stop. It maybe coz it gives me something to talk about rather than making small talks but I think its coz when I talk about work I always on some level am trying to influence the listener; thus I don’t quit until I have succeed.

Also one of the reason for me connecting with Loki is I don’t see this world in black or white. I would say grey but truly speaking I see no colors. Every action for me has become just that, an action, nothing more and nothing else. While people judge actions I just analyze them. I see if they have caused more harm than good but i still don’t condemn them. I can accept anything good or bad as it comes as long as it isn't affecting me. I heard this quote sometime back somewhere that

"There is always a reason behind everything bad that happens now. Now every psycho has a disease unlike good old times when they were just bad people. World had just good and bad people not these diseased ones."

This quote is basically made for people like me. People who can’t make conclusions based on simple given facts. People who always assume there is something more and thus hold their judgments. Still what if I say I agree with this quote. Good old times were better. A plain concept of black and white. It seems so relaxing to imagine such an easy world. But doesn't saying this contradict with everything i have said till now. Maybe it’s one of the reason i connect with Loki so much. I can’t seem to predict my own decision let alone let the world do that. Same happened with Loki and it was the inability of the gods to understand and predict him that made them hate him so much.

But isn't it more fun to be my way. When you know what is going to happen around you yet you never know what it is that you are going to do. When you have power to change your world at your will. The change is for good or for bad is another story altogether. You might argue you can do this even if you see colors, even if you connect with people, even if you have emotions. And i will say no, No you can’t. The reason? Well coz it clouds your judgments. If you like/dislike someone your actions for him or against him are bound to be affected by your emotions.

But not everyone has to be Loki or me. People should know when to draw the line. when not to have fun. They should know when simple pranks becomes sins. A time has to come when people need to come out of grey and see black and white.

I? I am past that. i prefer the grey. Makes me feel more enlightened than rest of the mortals. while they debate on whether a thing is good or bad i look at them, smile at their stupidity and think what i can do to make it work in my way.

Bloody mortals. No wonder they never really understood ways of Loki.

The "S" period part 2: The clash of the gangs.

It has been due for a long long time. But with pestering friends like garv and aabhas one cant simply ignore. so gather around kids coz its again story time. We shall continue from where we left in S period part one.
for the new readers(like i will ever get one) who don't know the previous part i would suggest you to read that part first.

So no more wait now. Lets begin our tale from the ancient teenager book titled.what I did in kota\how I ruined my life\How I met most awesome friends and did crap with them.

So it begins with me sleeping in my room(like it always begin, well mostly, other times its either in movie hall or cafe and of course restaurant). So i am peacefully sleeping in my room and i am awaken by calls of our hero of the story yet again garv. My first response is of course a very predictable one. i throw hundreds of curses at him. call him all the names i have in the book and when i fell short i invent some and then throw them at him. I am usually not so crappy when someone wakes me up(well who am i kidding) but i knew garv wont call me for a movie or dinner but to ask about you know the "S" girl. and i was kinda tired of it. i was losing too much sleep coz of it for my liking. I mean seriously! i had to wake up at 7 in morning to go to school to keep an eye on her and now he wont let me sleep in evening. Anyways reluctantly i pick his call and am taken a back by the seriousness of his tone. Now i am concerned, he was serious even considering the alternative that he was just "missing" her. So, i listen and this is what he says

"Raghav dumb-ass you were sleeping? how come you always sleep whenever there is an important issue(i did want to counter him by my above argument but i let him be). Mihir(my lovely friend) and ayush(my lovely cousin) have went to fight with the guy and his friends alone in front of their hostel now with a baseball bat."

I know... i know you have too many questions now. hold you guns will you. Let me explain.

The guy in particular is the boy friend of the girl with whom our hero of the story was in love with. and my two dear brave friends had gone to "talk" to him in order to convince him to make the girl apologize to our hero for her rude remarks which are mentioned in previous story. It was supposed to be a harmless conversation which the guy aggravated by calling his friends. Where did the baseball bat figure in the harmless conversation failed my puny brains though.

Anyways moving in our story. Now i am fully awake. In fact i feel tensed. I grab my phone,wallet,ipod(yes even then taking ipod with me was considered imp by me) ,keys and take an auto to the guy's hostel. i am concerned. Not for my friends. They were ayush and mihir. i was concerned for the guy and his friends. I mean garv hadn't given me good news.

There were 13 guys along with 5-7 local guys on bikes and they had surrounded my two friends. They were bound to think they can get better of them. I was shit scared if they in their ignorance even touch them we will have to simply kill them. The hell which we will break loose will be too messy. I didn't want them to suffer such fate(i am a human after all i guess). I tell auto guy to hurry.

I am talking to garv all the while on phone. and keeps narrating me the scene like a live cricket show. I ask him where exactly he was. i mean how could he talk to me like that in front of them. He then tells me he wasn't exactly there but two houses away where they couldn't see them but he could see them. i now call him all the names i had thought off when he had awoken me. I mean there were his friends risking their asses for him and he was hiding; not that they needed help but still.

By this time i reach the place I get down to where garv was and get a quick update on the scene. And ask him to come with me to the scene which he bluntly refuses. it took more name callings from my side but he finally agreed(rather i pushed him to the place). Now i see before me some guys from our side had managed to come too. there was nipun and aabhas already there. They were calmly sitting over there with mihir and ayush standing in the mid of circle made by their guys and a verbal feud was going on. The baseball bat was ominously visible in mihir's hand.

Now some of you who know me personally(basically who have seen how physically weak i am) would wonder what would my role be in this fight? i can hardly provide any help if not be any liability myself. Well i am the guy who can talk and curse and make you feel bad about yourself. My job was to stand behind the wall of mussels formed by my friends and while they trash the other guys physically i was to throw mental abuse(yes, we had it all planned out).

So i prepare myself to enter the battle field. I arm myself with all the swear words. I revise my opening statements but they throw a surprise at me. I wasn't expecting this. they take me off my guards completing. One of the guys from their side who was fighting verbally with mihir turn to me, looks at me and says

"Hey raghav! how are you?"

I got confused. I mean he was from opposite side right? why was he wishing me? Didn't he know i am from the side that was gonna kick his ass. i just ignore him and move to nipun and asks him what was going on. He tells me in plain words "He is five minutes away." I nod and confront the opposite gang.

"oh! so what are you fuckers up to?" i begin with my opening statement. They turn to me amused; one of the brave souls begin counting us

"one...two...three...four...five...six... tats it! we are 20 people. you think you can get better of us?"

I scan all their faces. most of them were my school mates and since they were my school mates they would know not to screw around with me and in their local guys section the most prominent figure was my friend who wouldn't go against me(He managed to keep his girl friend coz of me. He owed me money too. To think of it i do help a lot of people with their respective girl issues). so the local guys were out too. there were in reality only 4 ignorant guys who didn't know our might and one in particular who along with the counting guy was speaking way too much for our liking. Never the less. just to shut his numbering up i greet the local guy i knew. He acknowledges me. I ask him

"what are you doing over here?"

"Nothing. A friend asked me to come and help them."

"against me?" I ask.

"I didn't know." He replies.

The fat guy who pointed the numbers out shuts up now and tries to be a man by hinting he is all ready to go. The other guy seemed to agree with him. Up to this point the five minutes get over. and our main guy arrive. Heman bhaiya!(You will hear his name mentioned in lots of old posts of mine).

Now i wont be able to do justice in explaining what happened at the scene as soon as they realised who came to our side but i will try my best. They all simply panicked. The guy who was talking too much starting talking even more but this time is tone and words changed. Now he was all like

"oh! hemant bhaiya! they are your students? i didn't know. I am sorry. i didn't mean any offence to them. I didn't even touch them. see they came with the bat, i didn't even do anything. You explain to them"

Hemant bhaiya didn't say a word and we all burst out laughing. Mihir swelled his chest more and said

"now count fucker!".

The guy who pointed the numbers our nearly shit in his pants. He took three steps backwards. The hostel warden came to the other gangs rescue by asking us to clear up. He pushed one of our guys and then we saw hemant bhaiya at his mighty self. He got down from his bike and pushed the grown 40 yr old warden away saying

"I didn't touch your students how dare you touch mine! stay away let the kids talk"

Needless to say the puny warden didn't bother us after that. And those poor little kids shit in their pants a bit more.

People would keen observation would notice that our hero and the boyfriend. who were supposed to be the prominent figures in this story till this point didn't do shit!. they just kept standing. bloody cowards.

So we reach an agreement that he would ask the "S" girl to call my friend up and apologise. As soon as it looked things would get sorted out. I hear a thunderous slap TADAAAK!

Mihir had slapped the guy who was talking too much for our liking and oh my god what a slap it was! as soon as mihir slapped the boyfriend tried to be a hero but ayush locked his neck up.

Now my dear readers, you should know ayush is a six feet tall basketball player. if he locks your neck, you stay in one place and pray that your neck doesn't break. Hemant bhaiya sorts the commotion out. And he sends the other gang away(shoo away will be more correct term).

But before they went one of us duly pointed out to the counting guy

"We were two and you were twenty and still see who got slapped and by whom".

surprisingly the guy who talked a lot had no reply for this.

By this time all our other friends come too bringing their bats with them and are disappointed when they see us returning.

"Did we miss the fun?" They asked.

I only thanked god for had they come before hemant bhaiya, we would have beaten the hell out of those poor little fuckers.

And the story ends the way it always does. We end up in restaurant with garv paying the bill and we making fun of him.

So kids. Here ends another fairly tale of our kota years. Hope you didn't sleep by the end of it and enjoyed. Next time maybe i will tell you how i killed a dragon with my bare hands using the sexual powers of mihir. Till then

May the force be with you!!!