Tuesday, February 17, 2009

At 17.

Hundreds of kids on street... some talking to each other some staring at those talking to each other some just walking in their own world some pretending to do so while caring about everything happening around them some just showing off but all having same sparkle, hope and aim in their eyes... Yeps that’s right it’s just a daily scene at Kota road outside a coaching institutes... yet, there are few who have no whatsoever concern with this... they have no aim and no care (or at least this is what they pretend) for the consequences of their utter laziness mixed with total joblessness... this kind would never be found on streets, they could be found sitting at cafes, movie halls, play grounds or simply at their respective hostels, in their rooms not studying but just passing away time or sleeping... These guys just want to spend their day enjoying. Their competitive exam course books gather dust over time... They show they are happy and content with their lives, they have a big circle of friends and have their own unique way of wasting their time...

Never did I thought being in 12th is so effectively gonna ruin my life and also make me loose my self confidence...It was really heartening to know that few else exited who were as miserable as me, if not a shade worse. And I being a totally self-centered person took relief in their misery (I am gonna rot in hell)...so I would stop beating round the bush for now and actually start writing what I mean to... At the tender age of 17 when we are supposed to have fun we are made to take decision which would affect and practically define our whole future life...


I gotta admit best brains of whole nation come to this place to prepare for various competitive exams some manage to stay focus but some loose their way... some real intelligent guys are lost in world of cyber cafes and movie halls... they would have done a lot better if they did what they wanted too.... There are few who decide to live this horrific (yet, somehow the most memorable) life and there are some for whom the decision is already made by their families...Ok! They are adults and one should respect their decision but c'mon, one should also have their own say in their life... at 17 one has big expectation to fulfill... one has to live dream of his parents and elders (now, it’s not a bad thing to do but the person may have his own dreams)... The worst part is the decision we take now practically defines our future path... a person may want to do something which is out of the box... but then he is stopped by his family members they don’t directly say no, which is worse... they would say try your hand at engineering or medical then you may do whatever you want to do...

Don’t they realize giving this false hope is gonna do more damage than good... obviously when you get in this line you are never going out of this (but in very rare cases few lucky ones does get out)... and the kid he wont pay full attention to his work coz somewhere in his heart he has this false hope now that he may be able to change his field of study... so you see he is no good and his whole life is then filled with frustration...


lets take few example of my friends... there is particular one... he was on the verge of committing suicide at this age(well its exaggeration) but what the hell are we supposed to think if writes such line
"Today I chose to live"
"Today I was reborn"
reason for writing such lines... he couldn’t give his boards this year... his school fucked him up and didn’t submit his 12th board form... when contacted they said they did a mistake... A MISTAKE?? the guy will have to repeat the whole reason for no reason at all... why coz his school did a mistake... we couldn’t do anything about it coz my friend wasn’t all clean himself...well every kid here breaks all the C.B.S.E. norms but this guy got a back firing...


People often say me that we have a very enjoyable life... many people out there envy our lives... they all say...."man! you guys are so into fun" but then we all come to cafe coz we have nothing else better to do... there is no other place to go neither any other thing in which we can indulge our self...we our self are so bored at sitting at comp for the whole day but what else can we do....
people say "you guys go out so much to have dinner".... well my dear friends we have so sucky mess food that we have to go out to have proper dinner and the manner in which we have to gather enough money to support this is totally another method...


People say “you guys hang out together so much”. Well its coz we are the only ones who would actually understand each other position and we take comfort in each other company… believe me there is a lot under our smiles…


our family when asks us how is our preparation going on... what are we suppose to say... we cant say the truth... so we lie and when we start doing this there is no coming back...
I mean if one doesn’t perform well one feels low and one’s self esteemed is hurt in the worst way and he starts lying about it... some don’t like lying after all they were brought up real nice by their parents so they just starts ignoring them... stops picking up their calls and also avoids the family gatherings...
Few friends of mine would have trouble getting 60% and there parents expects them to clear jee... how would this kids feel when facing their parents at this moment...


This is just one of the aspects of being a teen-ager… This age is supposed to be two best years of our life when we can enjoy our self coz then we go into manhood and then actually have to face and bear our responsibilities… but then these years are also taken from us… (And don’t get me started on chicks!) I know you people may have started thinking by now who am I to comment on fellow students... many would argue I face the similar conditions, probably that’s why I am writing such a thing.

The truth is neither of the above option is entirely correct but neither are they totally wrong... the real reason for writing is max. of my friends have a case similar to various one mentioned above... we all have fun all together but truth is deep inside we fear the dead end... We just fake it most of the time that we are indifferent regarding this and do our best to avoid getting in such discussions when we do get into one we are reduced to half the kids we are…

Thus at the tender age of 17 when we should be care free we are burdened with worries... we haven’t exactly start living our life and it seems that we have already lived an eternity (not in a good way though)... Yes, I am no expert but this is what I have observed I may be wrong but I am going to stick by this... Now I also know I am not exactly a type of writer who could address an important serious issue such as this... I would be way better off writing funny jokes and making sarcastic comments but I thought I owe it to my friends and I gotta express our distress in a way or other...
Now if you are reading my post for the first time I bet you aren't ever coming back but yes, do give this a thought...


P.S. I better write another post soon... so this one is overlapped...

9 comments:

  1. tht's the bitter truth of being a teenager.....at 17 we are basically stuck between our parents and our dreams which i should mention noone understands!!!.....it's time our parents realise that we can take our own decisions(atleast abt the career) and we are not listening to any of their lectures evn if we pretend to!!!.......
    nice topic!!!.....n u did a pretty goood job keeping the same tone through out the post

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  2. thanks.... its a good feel to you know you liked it... seriously parents now should get this idea...

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  3. well put.... i cant say i agree to everything u have said (though you would have expected me too) but most of the things that u have written aptly describes the situation our sorry asses were in...

    what i dont agree to is the justification of our own failures... you might say that since i am out off this, i can sing a different tune....but i always felt ,i myself was to blame for all the procrastination... But for a special few cases who didnt chose this stream in the first place ,i sympathise with....

    what i agree with is the fault of the system...there is no accountability at all.... a lakh of students ,and as u have put it ,the best brains of this nation, come to kota to eke out a bright future... around 4 thousand actually make it ...but wat about the rest....
    when concerned with the futures of such bright lives and i dare to say, the future of this country as a whole, a more accountable system should be in place.... out of the four thousand who make it,we cant actually say that they were the best this place had to offer.

    kota has been one the most memorable yet forgetable experiences of my life....
    the pros and cons of life in kota weigh each other out and in the end we are left with nothing...a sad null...when we ought to have had everything...

    the world has become a small place so getting in touch with chapters in my life that i have left behind,old friends, has become quite easy.
    and most of them ....not so brilliant in academia are being accepted into rose and hull and stanford, where as we have to work hard and fight for the few pathetic seats the best instis of this nation have to offer....

    but all said and done ... brilliant piece Raghav...it got me thinking...
    keep writing. and dont ever forget the one year of our lives we did nothing

    yours sheepishly,
    kala :)

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  4. I sit down and I read...
    Don't you think our life has a lot to do with our parents. Maybe our life is formed by their contribution only. I mean see this situation, a guy is stuck up in kota and his parents can't really accept his sorry state, so they let him to be there and destroy his confidence and future. And there is this situation in which the parents really understand the situation and takes him back.
    Another situation - If the child has learnt to speak out his thoughts from his childhood(which is also credited to parents because their attitude towards life decides our attitude), then this child will go on and follow his dreams. Look kota is a brilliant place, it is the attitude which decides our future. Yes, we really have to struggle but then it is all worth it. Following your dreams is not a thing which we do in a second, we first need to have a dream and then we need to have the guts(which can either be inherited or created in the childhood only). A child who never really spoke aloud can never follow his dreams.
    At 17, we have to make decisions, and really hard decisions and maybe it is correct too(in india). I mean you need to analyze yourself, if you are a coward then be one and be mediocre. You have yourself to blame...
    Be brave or dig your grave...
    I know it is harsh, but yeah the parents can be blamed. We can be blamed. but our lies are made of silent truths.

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  5. exactly true but this is the small picture.... do u expect the othe brilliant half to languish as never beens who will never be for the rest of their lives just because they never spoke out at the tender age of 17....

    not at all....

    what we need is guidance at 17 and some more accountability from the authorities... by this i dont ,and i repeat dont, mean spoonfed.
    ofcourse i dont agree with the justification "that cmon we were 17 how were we supposed to noe"... but for some of us our whole lives will be decided on the basis of these formative years...

    in life everyone wants their children to succeed...and this can be done only if they are shown the right path.... and as u said ,some kids learn to speak out their minds at a young age...

    i would just like to add that some ,mind u some,kids mature earlier than 17...and some earlier and some in later stages of life...
    our decisions as a mature adult should decide for us.
    maturity cannot be thrust onto a person....and if maturity cannot be thrust then i think responsibility ought to kept from him too....but we can cultivate maturity by giving responsibilty in doses....kota helps create that environment and some people learn faster than others. so what i ask for is a safety net that could be provided by the authorities so that the limitless freedom given to us could be accounted for...

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  6. what the fuck are u talkin about... cant understand u .... learn ur spellings

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  7. am sorry... i know by sitting at malik at 12 in the noon watching roadies along with typing would do me no good... pardom me for my mistake"s".... but the momen has passed and i wont repeat what i was trying to say... anyway enjoy...

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  8. I think its just not about being in kota. I told you it keeps happening all the time. It is about studying subjects you parents want you to.
    It's about hating what you study.
    It's also about what you dreamt of becoming and couldn't.
    Its about broken promises and forced living.
    And it is about expectations.

    Well put.

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  9. @aadya:
    you areright it can happen to anyone any where... and it is abt what all you said...
    but we living in kota see more frequently such extreme cases.... students else where (specially those living with parents) still have that chance of redemption coz they are under those watchfull gaze... we on the other hand are free landers.... once we get out of the path there is no way back in... and kota is extreme place either you achieve everything or you loose everything... you would have guessed by now what happened to us....

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